Messaging Randomness #9

Chepe: Yes im down and u can be my assitant ill call you hektor rutherfurd santiago delas aguas calientes guadalupe de un cierro por aya turuli del rancho rodreeguz

Me: hahaha rutherfurd is the only thing that sounds off. other than that im in!

Chepe: but u need an english name if u wanna be sherlocks homes ass

Chepe: stupid phone! i mean assistant

Me: hahahahahaha!!! im sherlock home's ass!!

Me: caller- 'hi, is this sherlock holmes?' me- 'no, this is his home ass, mister holmes is out at the moment'

Chepe: hahahaha smart ass ..i got autocorrect by a non smartphone the duck???

Chepe: ahhh the fuck the fuck

Me: hahaha thats ducken funny

Chepe: asshole! i give up.

Me: if im an assshole at least im holmes home ass :D ooh good times, haha

Messaging Randomness #8

Me: Te-rah--flu! Tera fluuuu-uuuu-yeah!! Cause i wanna git betta Unda (t)his heavy weatha So i sing ma blu-u-ues

Chepe: U sick sir?

Chepe: We still going to a show

Me: Iono man, Just now i coughed so hard i farted

Chepe: Ahahah sick as well.. let's kick it? Or u to sick?

Messaging Randomness #7

Friend: Im bored and cold

Me: sorry, haha. I took a shower and now Im golden

Friend: so u took a golden shower?

Me: you bastard...

Messaging Randomness #6

Acquaintance: NAH I HAVENT SEEN IT YET

Me: DO YOU LIKE WRTTING IN CAPS? CAUSE YOU KNOW IF YOU ADD SOME OF THESE ''!!!!!'' IT LOOKS LIKE YELLING, haha

Acquaintance: HEHEHE I DO LIKE WRITTING IN CAPS... AND YEA IT DOES LOOK LIKE YELLING ITS FUNNY!!! HAHAHA IM NOT YELLING AT YOU LOL ARE YOU GOING TO PRACTICE TODAY???

Me: GIANT PEOPLE WRITE THIIIIIIS BIIIIIIIG!!!! HAHA. nah, i lost my air guitar somewhere and i lent my invisble piano to my brother... and gave away my imaginary talent... so it might be borin

Acquaintance: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Messaging Randomness #5

me: hi! creamy ranch turns into chunky ranch real fast, and if your into it.. raunchy ranch even faster

friend: hi hektor!!!!!!! :)

Messaging Randomness #4

Friend: Hahaha hows ir.going and yeah i got thw number

Me: Im sleepy

Me: Still gotta wait to seeif for sure iam going to be on the case?

Friend: U should of just acted retarded so u coukd of gone home

Me: Nah you hadto write down ifyouhadany medical conditions, haha

Friend: Is unvoluntary explosive diareah a medical condition?

Me: Iwiish!

Friend: Hahah cuz i got something like that

Friend: Dude ive never been to jury dootie ahahaha

Me: Im so bored im interested in you unvoluntary explosive diareah

Me: Im oneof the lucky ones

Friend: If u like, u can document it. ill give u a sample

Me: Well aslong as you dont fling it at meh

Friend: Ill put it neatly im a bag for u

Me: Well aslong as you dont set it on fireon my door step

Me: Just outta random curiousity

Me: How do you imagine the scenerio of "you pooping diarahea into a bag" going down

Me: hahaha

Friend: Paper or plastix

Me: Plastic actually

Me: I think that would be the tough one

Friend: Well let me get home ill let u know how it went

Me: Make sure to document your findings and take a quick consistency test

Friend: Ue thw one thats suppse tk do all that

Me: Nope nope nope

Me: Im just an observer

Friend: Freakkk

Me: Hahaha

Me: That conversation went far too long

Friend: Yeahh

Me: 5 mo mins and we go back in and discuss whether we stay or go

Friend: Tell then Bout ur diaewah

Me: YOU BASTARD!

Me: Friend: Lol :-)

Me: "you honor.. People of the court, it is my best interest to I HAVE ASPLOSIVE DIARAHEA!!"

Friend: Yessss

Messaging Randomness #3

Friend: Dinobabies!

Me: haha, wha?

Friend: Gay monkeys!

Friend: Haha

Me: big floppy nipples!

Me: what are we playing?

Friend: How are you love?

Me: big floppy nipple love?

Friend: Big floppy saucer nipple!

Me: floppin in the wind majestically

Friend: Right on the belly of a unicorn who is eating dragon brains

Me: in a land of jellybeans and bunnies with rivers of bone marrow and sour crout

Friend: That leads to the homes of godzilla and his wife michael jackson

Me: but before you hit the destination, youll be confronted by a forest of lucious ginger pube trees swaying from there pasty vines above you

Friend: Passing the vines you hit a volcano that spewes baby guts and donkey tails while sitting on the worlds largest toilet made of dog poop

Me: turdcaino (turd cainine valcano) always blows baby guts when it knows off intruders that visit from far away lands.. turdcaino has contactedherp

Friend: Turdcaino went to the doctor to make sure his herpes get larger everyday so he can infect the universe

Messaging Randomness #2

Friend: That part line got boring :( nothing but cholos

Me: Hahaha, gay cholo hotline

Friend: Ay fucker u had sent me one! Jerk

Me: Yeah? Yeah... haha

Friend: Jerk lol

Me: Thats why i told you to pick the 2nd one i had sent cause the 1st one showed up as a gay one alot

Friend: U did not!! Bastard

Me: *runs!*

Friend: Hahahahaha asshole

Me: Hahaha, *runs* :D

Friend: W.e that one was boring too! Stop guys all they wanted to talk about was there junk

Me: Im gonna Tumblr this conversation

Friend: No!

Me: Too Late!

Friend: Bastard!!

Me: :D *runs!*

Friend: Hahaha maaaan :(

Messaging Randomness #1

Me: Escape!

Friend: from

Me: the

Friend: huh?

Me: Mingbirds! hahaha